Have you noticed that some children are great at talking? Some of them say such amazing things that they make us want to follow them around with a notebook and a pencil to write down every word they say. It is not clear if this talent comes from not being tied by “adult patterns” or if it is because children have a better imagination. But the fact still stands: sometimes, children say things that make us roll on the floor laughing.
We at The Elite Indian have already shared some stories of the amazing things children said. But this is such a never-ending source of fun that we just can’t stop writing about it.
- I’m on the subway. I see a mom with a 5-year-old girl.
Mother: “I have blue eyes, like the sky. And you?”
Girl: “Mine are brown like…”
Mother: “Like chocolate!”
Girl: “Like a meatball.” © _UNESCO_K / Twitter
- My 5-year-old son says in a sad voice, “I’d love to rule the world, but I will probably grow up to be a boring guy and will work at a store for very little money.” I think it’s time to get him a Twitter account. © lessprit / Twitter
- My colleague’s story: She was on a bus with her 3-year-old boy. A guy sat down right next to them and asked the kid,
“Boy, what’s your name?”
The man smiles and asks another question,
“What will you be when you grow up?”
“JAKE!” © My Story / VK
- I was at work when I got a call from my 10-year-old son, “Mom, are you dead?” I almost choked on my tea.
“No, what happened?” I asked.
“Nothing. It’s just that you didn’t call me.” © nuJazheGovorila / Pikabu
- My son is 4 years old. I bought a vacuum with a long handle and ever since my kid runs around everywhere vacuuming the floor. Once, I saw him in the morning vacuuming something and mumbling, “Geez, I really want to pee, but I have to work…” © Palata № 6 / VK
- My husband and I were sitting and doing some work when our 7-year-old son came in and said, “I have something for you.” We said, “Go ahead, show it to us.” The son took his drawing album, opened it to the first page and pointed at the text, “I want to be a cat. Presentation.” Page 2, “Why I want to be a cat:
1. Cats eat a lot.
2. Cats sleep a lot.
3. Cats don’t need to study.
4. Cats don’t need to pay rent.
5. Cats have 2-legged slaves.
6. Cats are cute.”
Page 3, “The end.”
“So, folks, I’ve shown my presentation to you. What do you think? Can I become a cat and not go to school tomorrow?” © Palata № 6 / VK
- A week ago, my wife came from the hairdresser’s. She got a pretty short cut, honestly, and she was really worried. My wife, frustrated,
“How am I going to show up at work like THIS?!”
My 5-year-old daughter, in a comforting voice:
“Mommy! Don’t worry! I have a hair mask!” © My Story / VK
- It was late at night. My son was going to bed and he noticed a matchbox-sized ginger spider on the ceiling.
I asked him, “Are you okay with this?”
My son, “Oh, let’s get rid of it!”
So, we start a huge spider liquidation operation. My son opens the window as wide as possible, I go out to get the necessary gear. I use a mop to get the spider on the floor (my son is cautious, so he is on the other side of the room, watching from a distance), I get the spider and throw it out the window, into the night. One second later, we hear the screeching of breaks and a loud sound.
My son, “Okay, next time, just kill it, okay?” © 123mi / Pikabu
- Yesterday was my mother-in-law’s birthday. We are going to go to her place on the weekend, but right now, my wife is congratulating her on the phone. My oldest son is doing homework in the same room with his classmate. I ask my son,
“Do you want to talk to your grandma?”
“No. Every time I do that, she takes 30 minutes to congratulate me, like it’s my birthday, and I want to go for a walk now.”
His classmate says,
“I tell my grandmas some poems about grandmas, so they start crying and hang up.” © 31sulim99 / Pikabu
- My friend’s middle son is in 5th grade and he got an A on drawing once. His teacher was amazed by the level of detail in the picture, so she asked him,
“Jack, did someone help you with this picture?”
Jack, being an honest boy, says,
“Who helped you? Your mom or your dad?”
“It was my sister.”
“How old is she?”
“She’s 6.” © Speranskaya / Pikabu
- I had always thought my son was very mature. But when he was at the kindergarten Christmas celebration and yelled from the stage, “Boys, none of this is true! I saw Santa’s beard in my dad’s garage!” I realized that he was a bit too mature for his age. © Palata № 6 / VK
- My friend’s son didn’t speak until he was 5. He only said “yes” and “no,” but more often, he just nodded. Doctors, tests — nothing helped. Once, some older kids took his ball on the playground, and he was frustrated when he came to his mom.
She asked, “Why didn’t you take your ball from them? It’s yours! You have to be able to protect what’s yours!”
And the son said loud and clear, “I chickened out, mom.” © Palata № 6 / VK
When did you last hear something so funny from children, that you wanted to share it with everyone?
Preview photo credit © Palata № 6 / VK